Every once in a while, life crosses paths with someone so simple and commonplace who are very easily forgotten or pushed to the farthest corners of our mind. Constant assault on our senses in this technology driven world further diminishes our observations about the real people. But even beyond all this, there would be someone who holds that place of high admiration despite the monotony of daily life; furthermore if it’s a self-made woman who has proved the power of women in a world still driven by male centrism.
A very close relative of mine whose identity cannot be disclosed for reasons of anonymity as requested; let’s call her M. And no, it’s not James Bond’s superior, yet of an equally superior caliber though her achievements maybe quite modest by superficial terms. Having lost her father while still in her crib, she was brought up solely by her mother. It was undoubtedly a huge struggle to make ends meet, but her mother’s determination to give the child the best education aimed at a bright future kept pushing her beyond limits. Life is the best teacher and the mother’s predicaments must have fired her determination to make her daughter self-sufficient and independent on all fronts. A woman far surpasses her gender counterpart – for what she lacks in brawn, she more than makes up with her will and determination by sheer display of mental strength. None of M’s wishes went unfulfilled; M’s mother and grandmother stood by her, supportive through all her good and bad times, never once allowing her to feel the absence of her father in life. Contrary to others’ sympathy, M lived a happy life with the two strongest women of her life.
Famously said, “Misfortune rarely comes alone”. True to the quote, the next calamity struck M when her mother, the pillar of her strength succumbed to cancer just when M was a week away from her Xth standard boards. Saving up every bit of her savings for the daughter’s future than for her own life, the older ladies had hidden all signs of suffering from M to ensure she stayed happy and focused on her future. If this is not the true test of motherhood and woman power, then what is it? When the world sees woman power as her climbing up the ladder, I also see woman power as the step down to allow her future-gen to climb up.
Efforts were made to give her up for adoption but M was very firm in living with her grandmother who had taken up the role of a mother at a ripe age of 84 but as fate would have it, breathed her last only two months before M’s 12th boards. M’s life came to a standstill. Quoting her verbatim, “I was completely broken and depressed. Life became empty. I had no one to guide me and give selfless love as mom or grandma who were my world. My cheerful disposition led people into believing I was happy but life was a challenge every day.”
M was determined to live up to what the strongest women in her life had died for. God is a great equalizer and M was blessed with phenomenal resilience and academic prowess to make up for her losses. With the support of her teachers and friends who stood by her through her tough times, she became tougher and stronger. She passed her boards with flying colors and bagged the course and university of her choice through her own merit. Whenever she was struck with depression, it was her friends who introduced her into social activity to seek happiness. Quoting M again, “I discovered during my miserable times that the biggest joy is in making others happy. My friends and I started teaching students who could not afford tuition fees during weekends. Lifting up their spirits and lives balanced out my depression.”
M has never looked back since and maintains her sense of ethics and principles while still on the way up steadily. From my brief conversations with her every now and then, I can only see that her hardships have not hardened but toughened her to take on the world. She is the perfect epitome of womanhood in my eyes at least.
“I do know one thing about me. I don’t measure myself by others’ expectations or let others define my worth”. I could think of no one else in my life except M to fit this quote.
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